When it comes to raising self esteem in people, the use of words is very powerful and important. Words can build people and words can destroy people. The reason a lot of people are walking around with low self esteem and lack of confidence is because someone destroyed them with their words.
Never underestimate the damage a negative word can do to someone's confidence. A positive word on the other hand can literally transform the way a person feels about themself, that's why a lot of exercises used in raising self esteem in people require the use of positive words because they are powerful and immediately create positive feelings in us.
When someone tells you, you are good at something or tells you how good you look, you immediately develop more confidence and you are motivated to do or look even better, that's the power of positive affirmation or a compliment.
Think about it, how many times have you received a compliment and as a result you felt ten feet tall, on the other hand when someone gives you a negative feedback you feel like rubbish and begin to doubt yourself and before you know it your confidence goes.
Unfortunately, the average person doesn't get positive affirmations or compliments very often, but we get negative ones quite regularly, no wonder so many people don't feel great about themselves or don't feel like they are worth much, nobody has ever told them they are! And maybe all they need is to hear something positive about themselves and maybe all you need to hear is something positive about yourself to begin to regain your confidence.
I came up with the following exercise for raising self esteem in people through the method of receiving compliments and positive affirmations from others, so that you can start to hear from people what is great about you and so that you can begin to tell others what's great about them, this way not only will you be raising self esteem in yourself, you will also be raising self esteem in other people as well.
I would recommend doing this exercise with at least 5 people; these can be family members, friends, or even colleagues at work. If you are going to do it with work colleagues you can use it as a team building exercise for raising self esteem not just in yourself but in your colleagues too. In fact even when you do this exercise with your family members or friends, you will discover that not only will your self esteem be raised but you will also be raising self esteem in your family members and friends.
1. So get in a group of at least 5 people
2. Sit around in a circle
3. One person goes and stands in the middle of the circle while the others are still sitting, and they say what they like, admire, and respect in all the remaining people still sitting down.
4. Once they have finished complimenting everyone, the next person goes into the middle of the circle and does the same thing.
5. Keep repeating this until everyone has had a go.
6. The only rule to this exercise is that you are only allowed to say positive things about the people you are doing the exercise with; no negative thing must be said.
7. I also recommend doing this exercise on a regular basis with your group at least once a month. You can adapt the exercise i.e. go round the group saying something positive about everyone regarding something good they did that particular week, or month, you can even do the exercise everyday! (Imagine receiving compliments and positive affirmations everyday - How high will your self esteem be!)
By the time you finish the exercise, you would have received compliments from 4 different people (if you are doing it in a group of 5), 4 different people would have said something positive about you, that they might never have told you before.
They might even highlight qualities in you that you never knew you had and by the time you have received positive comments and compliments from 4 different people highlighting your skills, and admiring the qualities you have, you will definitely be feeling a lot more positive about yourself by the end of the exercise.
This is a powerful exercise for not just raising self esteem but also in bonding with your friends and loved ones.
Sometimes the reason we don't feel confident or good about ourselves is because nobody has ever told us we are good. People are quick to give negative feedback but slow to praise and this exercise gives you the opportunity to praise what is good in people and that in turn will raise their self esteem.
A lot of times we admire people but never tell them, we admire their qualities, their achievements, their character etc but we never tell them because we don't think they need to hear it, but everybody needs to hear something positive said about them, everybody wants to feel appreciated, everybody wants to be recognised and told that they are good, it makes us feel like we are worth something, it makes us feel like we matter and when you can get people to feel that way, it raises their self esteem, and this exercise will help you to do that.
With this exercise, while you are raising self esteem in others, yours also will be raised by others, that's why I love this particular self esteem exercise, it gives you an opportunity to make someone else feel better about them self, not just you.
Dr Joe Rubino (one of the leading self esteem experts) has a great program for building self esteem. The program also has a lot of exercises and activities that will really help anyone struggling with self esteem issues. Click here to take a look at Dr Joe Rubino's Ultimate Self Esteem Formula Program.
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