Self esteem issues such as insecurities, depression, lack of confidence, and lack of motivation can arise as a result of mistakes we have made, failures we have experienced, and also obstacles that seem to stand in the way of our progress.
I'll give you an exercise that can help you overcome these issues of self esteem in a minute but first let me just make a few points.
When you fail and things don't seem to go your way in life, it is easy to begin to experience some of these self esteem issues.
Let's say you were made redundant at work and you've been trying to get back into work and have made application after application but all to no avail, as a result you are starting to experience some of these self esteem issues, you feel rejected and not good enough and now lack the confidence to keep trying, when you do get an interview you are so focused on the past rejections that there is no confidence or conviction in your performance at the interview which results in more rejection and more lack of confidence and the cycle keeps repeating. Before you know it you have been rejected and unsuccessful so many times that you no longer have the motivation to keep applying for jobs and after a while you would have been out of work for so long that you become depressed. This is an example of how these self esteem issues can ruin your life if you allow them.
If you truly want to become successful in life, there will be challenges and obstacles to face, there will be failures, you will make some mistakes, it is all part of the journey. We are supposed to learn from setbacks and bounce back from setbacks, not allow them to give us self esteem issues.
Nelson Mandela spent the major part of his life in prison (he served a life sentence) but he came out and eventually became the president of South Africa - WHAT A COME BACK!
He didn't allow his prison experience to break him and you must not let what you are going through or what you've been through break you. You must find strength in the midst of the challenge and overcome.
List Your Mistakes and Obstacles - Then Flip Them
1. Get a piece of paper
2. Divide the paper into two sides by drawing a line down the middle
3. On the top of the left hand side write a heading called "Mistakes, Failures and Obstacles
4. On the top of the right hand side write a heading called "How I will Flip It" (How I turned it around / How I will turn it around)
5. Now on the left side, list all the mistakes, failures and obstacles you've faced or are facing in your life.
6. On the right side write a statement next to the failure, mistake or obstacle about how you overcame, or how you will overcome or how you will find strength and motivation through the problem
Mistake, Failures, and obstacles
I allowed myself to get into too much debt.
How I will Flip It
I will be more disciplined with my spending and pay off all my debts using a consolidation plan. From now on I'll only spend what I have.
Mistake, Failures, and obstacles
The above examples represent mistakes, failures and obstacles I have personally faced in the past, challenges that I didn't initially see a way out of, but using this exercise I empowered myself and flipped every single one of them, they all now represent victories I have had, the obstacles I overcame on the way to my success. I empowered myself by deciding how I was going to FLIP the situation, and that's exactly what I did.
7. Use your failures and challenges as motivation, rather than let them break you, let them make you more determined to succeed.
8. When you eventually achieve your goals (and I believe you will), look back at your list and see the obstacles you overcame to get to where you are, now think of how strong you are to have scaled those obstacles when others would have quit. Be proud of yourself and reward yourself.
By doing this exercise, especially when you start writing your statements about how you are going to turn things around, you will begin to see that you do have the power to turn setbacks to comebacks.
Sometimes we allow ourselves to sink further into low self esteem and develop self esteem issues because we feel powerless to change the circumstances we are in, but you are not powerless, you can be in control, you don't have to be depressed, what you must do is find a way to make even the worst of situations work for you. It will require a change in your belief system; you will have to get rid of the excuses for why you want to hold onto your self esteem issues, you will have to give up your excuses for wanting to stay depressed and demotivated, you will have to drop your excuses for why you can't do it or why you can't make it.
Take back your power, get yourself in the right frame of mind, and instead of focusing on the negatives begin to look for the positives in the situation and what you can do to turn things around.
Rather than allowing yourself to develop self esteem issues like lack of confidence, insecurities, lack of motivation, depression, etc just because someone won't give you a job (for example), take back your power and create your own job, if no one will give you a job create your own! Look at the skills, knowledge and experiences you have and find a way to serve people with those skills in return for a financial reward - SBI is a great way to turn your knowledge and skills into money I can vouch for SBI because thats the model I use for my online businesses.
It is okay to make mistakes, it is normal to face obstacles, from time to time you will fail, but don't let those things kill your confidence, rather use them as motivation to win.
Dr Joe Rubino (one of the leading self esteem experts) has a great program for building self esteem. The program also has a lot of exercises and activities that will really help anyone struggling in the area of self esteem. Click here to take a look at Dr Joe Rubino's Ultimate Self Esteem Formula Program.
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