I want to give you another of the many activities to build self esteem that I personally use and that have worked for me. This particular one deals with the fear factor. We often allow fear to stop us from taking action because we feel we are not good enough.
When you feel like you are not good enough it is evidence that you are lacking in self esteem and confidence. People with low self esteem and lack of confidence often fear the worst when it hasn't even happened.
They fear not getting the Job
They fear getting rejected by that beautiful woman if they were to ask her out on a date
They fear that the business wont succeed
They fear what people will think
They constantly live in fear, and the root of that fear is simply that they don't feel they are good enough or worthy.
I developed this self esteem and confidence building activity as a result of a success principle I learned from Jack Canfield. The principle was "Feel the fear and do it anyway"
Wanting to put this principle into action, I decided to put together an exercise that would help me to "Feel the fear and do it anyway" the result is the exercise I am about to share with you which I have now added to my list of activities to build self esteem.
Here's how to do the activity.
1. Make a list of the things you are afraid of doing because you feel you are not good enough and why you are afraid.
I am afraid of asking so and so out on a date because I fear she will reject me, she is hot and everybody wants her so why would she want someone like me.
I am afraid to do that presentation because I fear that my mind will go blank and I won't say the right things and people will think its rubbish and boring
2. Now go and do those exact things you listed that you are afraid of. Yes go and DO YOUR FEARS!
Yes you are afraid, but go and do it anyway, "Feel the fear and do it anyway"
Go and ask that beautiful woman out on a date
Go and do that presentation
Go and start that business
3. Develop the so what mentality
Even if you fail so what!
Even if you don't quite nail the presentation so what
Even if she says no, so what!
Even if the business fails, so what!
Failing isn't the end of the world, sometimes you have to fail before you succeed, the quicker you get the failures out of the way, the quicker you'll start succeeding.
After all, you failed a few times before you got the hang of walking as a baby, but you kept trying till you succeeded, same with riding a bike, you fell a few times as you were learning but you kept on trying till you got the hang of it.
We need to become like children again, be bold and fearless and not afraid to fail, and develop that attitude of "keep trying until you succeed" because with every try and attempt you become better and more competent, but to get to competence you must go through fear, failure and rejection, that's the road or pathway to competence and success.
Keep this in mind, failure is just an event, you are not a failure, the event or the thing you attempted might have failed but you as an individual are not a failure, you have to learn to detach yourself from the event and let your confidence come from within not based on the things you have or haven't achieved. Also, because you failed once doesn't mean you aren't good enough, it just means you might need to try harder and maybe practice a bit more and you will eventually get it right.
So go and do the "Do Your Fears" exercise and add it to the activities to build self esteem that you do regularly, once you make it a habit to face your fears and do them anyway, you will stop being afraid of failure and rejection and once you conquer those two things, you become unstoppable.
Dr Joe Rubino (one of the leading self esteem experts) has a great program for building self esteem. The program also has a lot of activities and exercises that will really help anyone struggling with self esteem issues. Click here to take a look at Dr Joe Rubino's Ultimate Self Esteem Formula Program.
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